Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Oh motivation, where are you?

So I've got none. Zero, zilch, not so much as a shred. Well maybe a shred...I am writing this. I could have been finished with my thesis by now. I could have been done with this whole college thing all together. I could be working and making money, owning a house, and living in marital bliss with cute little rugrats. But for some reason, none of that has happened. Am I waiting for what's really supposed to happen to me? Or am I just dragging my ass? Who knows. I'm caught somewhere between contentment and expansion. I'll never be happy with being content, that I'm pretty sure of. But will I ever find anything that makes me happy? Or is my happiness found only in the search? It is not an easy thing on those who are close to me, when I am always restless. It probably never will be.

I want more out of life, but I don't want to give up what I have. There you go - the story of my existance, in one neat sentance.

May compassion be always in your heart, and peace be always on your tongue.

- J

Monday, February 27, 2006

Another step closer...

Well, today I finished my final course requirement for my graduate work. Yep, one crappy presentation half-assed a couple hours before it was due, and I'm that much closer to having a Master's degree! They'll give those things to anyone these days, I hear.

What is my research on, you ask? Well, here's the short version. I'm looking at the role of dissolved oxygen and microorganisms in the removal of MtBE from drinking water by granular activated carbon (GAC). Huh? Here's the slightly expanded version: MtBE is part of gasoline in urban areas here in the US. It's used as an oxygenate to help gas burn cleaner, therefore reducing air pollution. That's great - if there's never a leak or spill of gas. MtBE is very soluble in water (unlike most of the rest of the components of gasoline) so once it gets into the groundwater it travels quite far. It also isn't easily degraded, so it sticks around for quite a while. Top it all off with MtBE's status as a potential carcinogen and Houston, we have a problem.

I looked specifically at small treatment units in people's basements here in NH. The treatment units use activated carbon - essentially the leftover 'popcorn-like' residual from extreme heating of things like coal and coconut shells. It's the same stuff that you find inside your Brita filter. Basically what it does is absorb things out of the water - when contaminants float by in the water, they stick to the surface of the carbon and are 'removed' from the water. So this carbon has a certain amount of surface area - like a velcro tennis ball. You can only stick so much stuff to it before you run out of room to stick any more. Same idea with the carbon - it has only so much surface (capacity) to absorb MtBE from the water. Thing is, other stuff sticks to carbon, too. It would be great if it would only absorb the bad stuff, but it's such sticky stuff that almost everything sticks to it including any oxygen dissolved in the water and some of the microorganisms that naturally occur in groundwater. (If you're a sterilization freak I hate to break this to you, but there are about 1,000,000,000,000+ microorganisms in every ounce of water that comes out of your tap)

So what I was looking at is this: What happens when you have oxygen, MtBE, and microorganisms in the water? There are a couple possibilities.
  1. The oxygen and/or microbes stick to the carbon, meaning that there's not as much capacity for MtBE.
  2. The oxygen and/or microbes don't make a difference, and MtBE gets removed the same no matter what's in the water.
  3. The microbes eat the MtBE, and more MtBE gets removed than the carbon could otherwise hold.
Bored yet? Hope not, cause there's more...

So we grabbed some carbon from someone's existing treatment system to test in the lab. It was assumed that this carbon had existing microbes stuck to it, since it had been in operation for about a year. It was also thought that these microbes might be adapted to MtBE (and thus able to eat it) since they were in a system treating MtBE contamination in the source groundwater. We also got some fresh (no microbes on it) carbon from the manufacturer to compare to the above mentioned 'fouled' carbon. We then split the virgin and fouled carbons up into 4 columns - 2 of each - and supplied two with oxygenated water, and two with anoxic (without oxygen) water. We ended up with one column containing fouled carbon and oxic water, one containing fouled carbon and anoxic water, one containing virgin carbon and oxic water, and one containing virgin carbon and anoxic water. We then pumped water with MtBE through each for a couple months.

What did we find? Well, a couple of things. First, if your microbes are lazy and don't degrade MtBE, then you're better off having no oxygen in your water. Otherwise, the oxygen competes with the MtBE for carbon space, meaning there's less room to adsorb the MtBE. However, if your microbes are hungry (or able to use MtBE for food), then it's better to have oxygen in your water. Why is that? When you eat, you need to breathe. Same deal with the microbes. If oxygen is there, they can then eat the MtBE fast enough to make a difference. If the oxygen isn't there, they breathe other stuff (like sulfate, iron, or nitrate) that still works, but much slower. They may still be eating MtBE, but not nearly fast enough to make a difference.

So what's the best solution to our problem? Stop driving your damn car so much! There's nothing in gasoline that's particularly healthy whether you burn it, breath it, or drink it. Make a statement that you care about your health by supporting alternative fuels and alternative transportation methods. Purchase fuel efficient vehicles - vote with your wallet and let them know you care about our health! There will be no change in the market until consumers demand it, and that starts right here with you and me.

May compassion be always in your heart, and peace be always on your tongue.

- J

Sunday, February 26, 2006

A 'sublime' haze in the valleys south of Mt. Washington


Nothing like a warm day up north to get a little sublimation haze going in the valleys! Taken Feb 2005...

Friday, February 24, 2006

Tuckerman Ravine, Feb 2005


The world famous Tuckerman Ravine on Mt. Washington. Taken Feb 2005. Those of you missing winter take heart. From what I hear in the month after this picture was taken over 26 feet of snow pack made for excellent March, April, and May skiing this past season. There's hope yet!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I love winter

Maybe we'll have one next year. This was taken two years ago. Probably my first picture I was ever proud of taking. I like how the sky and the mountains wash into each other, almost blurring the line between heavens and earth...


Mts. Lafayette and Lincoln, from Lonesome Lake
50 days till Moab, baby!

May compassion be always in your heart, and peace be always on your tongue.

- J

Monday, February 20, 2006

Artificial Sweeteners. Discovered as leftover crud that won't wash off laboratory beakers. Tested on rodents, approved for human consumption when less than 50% mortality is observed. It's big bucks in the time of low carb, low fat, low nutrition foods. Everyone wants to eat like Chunk in Goonies, but look like Heidi Klum or that guy with no personality from the fitness commercials (you know him). No responsibility for their actions. That's what it boils down to. "I don't care how bad it is for me, so long as I feel satisfied (and look like Antonio Banderas)."

I never realized how bad that shit is for you...until I stopped eating it all together. About 7 years ago, I was a bit overweight and out of shape. So I hit the gym and the trails, at the same time giving up all refined sugar, white flour, and hydrogenated oils. What's left to eat, you ask? Well, there wasn't much. Things have gotten better lately, with supermarkets offering large natural foods sections and smaller, local (yea!) stores catering to the health concious. But the big push still seems to be "low guilt marketing" rather than high quality foods. Within 5 months of my aforementioned lifestyle changes, I went from 190 lbs and 26% body fat to 175 lbs and 12% body fat. You put good fuel in and burn it, good results come out.

So now the point of this ramble. For Valentine's Day, my girlfriend's mom gave us some 'sugar free' chocolate bars. The gourmet kind, where little elves in small European countries mix each batch by hand and beautiful billionares' wives in skimpy lingere and surrounded by strawberries nibble decadently with sultry eyes... Anywho, the stuff is expensive. I have developed a chocolate craving of late, not sure why. But tonight, I damn near ate a whole bar. I should be in bed right now, but instead I'm up writing this with a massive case of stomach disorder. About ten minutes after scarfing the chocolate, my stomach began to object. Shortly thereafter the brain buzz came on. It's kind of like the feeling you get just before you get the spins from drinking too much - light headed, can't concentrate, stomach is floating, the purple Smurf flips you off from across the room... Three hours later, I still can't sleep. My leg tingles. My stomach has noticable lumps moving around inside it. My head feels like I have a hangover. That shit really f'ed me up.

I've never felt better since I went au natural with what I put into my body. But the real proof to me is what happens on the rare occasion I eat a typical American foodstuff. Diet Coke sends me to the moon with dizziness. Sugary cakes make me see double. White bread binds me up and makes me tired.

I guess here in the good ol' US of A, we're free to put just about anything in our bodies we want (unless the government doesn't want us to, of course). Of course that assumes you know what you're putting into your body. I, for one, haven't the slightest clue what Malitol is. Do you? The FDA (F'ed Digestion Administration) says it's ok for me. My body does not. I'm thinking the only reason I know this is because I ingest that kind of stuff so infrequently. I never used to feel this way when I ate a typical American diet, and you probably don't either.

It's like living downwind of a powerplant. If you never breath the smog, you know it's bad for you when you get a whiff. If you live and breath it everyday...you're surprised and confused when you wake up one morning with the Black Lung and Torso Cancer. Give yourself a chance to know the difference. Take three months off from all things refined and artificial, and see what happens. It takes a while for your system to readapt to good food, so you might not notice the change right away. But after that three months, go and get yourself a 20 oz Coke and pound it. Just make sure you have a place to sit down.

It's your body and your life. You owe yourself the chance to make it work to its potential. And besides, wouldn't it be nice to know the difference between feeling good and feeling like crap?

May peace be always in your heart.

- J
Yesterday's ride

I was supposed to go do some surveying yesterday, but the weather was too nice. I got the call from Z and immediately cancelled my plans. The weather was perfect: 24 degrees, 20 mph winds. This was Z's first ride on the new singlespeed! since I had been trying to get him out on the bike for a while and he had been wanting to ride Mt. A for a couple years now, we decided to kill two birds with one poison dart. The trails were in prime condition, frozen solid except over the fastest running water. After some bundling up, we hit the trail. Down through the gate, off to the right, and out to TJ to pick up LT. LT was looking good, if a bit hard to follow due to the leaves and the recent wind storm. I'm still not used to the disc brake on the front of the On-One, and coming around a corner with speed I grabbed a bit too much brake - the leaves slid out of the frozen ground and left me with a big flapper on my knee. I love cutting dangling skin off with scissors. Z was loving the SS, so we rode all the way back up to the earthen dam, and hit up AT for a quick out and back as the sun was setting. Man, I love that place. It was a rough day for future offspring, though, as both Z and I got a little too friendly with the top tube a couple of times. All in all, an excellent ride. Who would have imagined completely bare trails on February 18th???

May peace be always in your heart.

- J

Riding Lynn Woods (just north of Boston) on the Rigid SS. Photo credit: BrianC
Welcome to my blog. If you're interested enough to read along, great! What I hope follows is a small window into my soul. Keeping stuff inside has never been my strong suit, and really, is keeping stuff inside really good for you anyway? The more you get off your chest, the less weight you carry around with you every day. My life has seen a myriad of changes over the past 15 years - High school 'all american kid', college frat boy drunkard, hopelessly depressed nomad, reclusive gym rat, awakening outdoorsman, promising graduate student, disillusioned political spectator, and content pedal pusher. Each experience has helped shape my continually evolving person. Many people will run from their past, try to bury their ghosts or lock the skeletons in the closet. I believe that a balance exists in everything. The bad that I have experienced is what truly allows me to appreciate the good that now permeates my life. After all, the Buddha says "In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then beleive them to be true." What is really good or bad? Are they not just creations of our own mind based on societal influences? For example, the alcoholism I lived with for a time is often seen as a sickness, a weakness on the part of the afflicted. But that implies that the alcoholism is the root of the problem. I say it was not the problem, but a symptom of a larger problem. Life sucked, alcohol was my escape. So what was the real problem? Take away the alcohol and life still sucked, right? Anyhow, to make my point - maybe the alcoholism was a good thing overall. It may have caused some not so good outcomes at the time, but it made me look back and examine what was really going on with my life. Why was I feeling the need to drink? Why were things so out of control? What was causing me to be so depressed? So like the Buddha said, good and bad (east and west) are creations of our own mind. Sure the drinking was not good for my life at the time, but perhaps it was good for my life in general, as it helped 'wake me up' and see what I was really all about. What's my point? Live your life in the present. Don't dwell on what you or others perceive to be negatives, especially if they are in the past. Examine your life with an outside eye, objectively. Learn to see you life for what it is - not good or bad, but indicative of where you are. Most importantly, remember that there is a balance in life. When the 'bad' stuff happens, use it as a springboard, a lesson, a reminder - that the 'good' stuff is waiting for you to let it happen. Thanks for reading, have a great day!

- J